I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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