guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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