I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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