New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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