youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
