talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
