all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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