dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
