so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Girls should come with a carfax report
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
