so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
