"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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