so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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