she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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