ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
