I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
