Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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