How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
