you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
