Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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