We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
