i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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