i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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