I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize