Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
