No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
