i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
