you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
