I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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