check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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