wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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