I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
