Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
