yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
