just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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