Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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