How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
