I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he shaved USA in his pubs
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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