wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
