I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
