I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am naked and annoyed.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
