I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
