Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
