Will you blow on my dice?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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