Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
