i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
