we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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