So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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