I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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