When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
