you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
NoShamevember. You game?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
