i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
