OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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