Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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