Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
