Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize