I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize