dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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