I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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