she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
