member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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