Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
