Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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