My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
