things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
