my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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