i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize