I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
