____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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