shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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