He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
