how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
