her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
