Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He kissed a someone with a penis
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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