we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am one with the molecules
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
