Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
