At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
