I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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