At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
